I like the in-directness of the plot here. A theme you seem to love as much as I do, subtly told through a vague third-person perspective. Clever. Also, very sexy image. Two thumbs up.
It's the nature of writing captions that there simply isn't enough space to tell a full story. Sure, sometimes I try to fit a LOT into a small space, but those captions are generally less successful than when I let the reader's imagination do its work.