I can really relate to this one. I have spent countless hours of my life wondering and pursuing the same... what? Fetish. I think it goes much deeper than that.
It's easy for a fetish to become an obsession. On that same note, it's easy to mistake real gender identity issues for a fetish - especially when you factor in denial and societal expectations.
It started as a fetish. But eventually, i realized it was the truth.
I'm sure there are quite a few people who followed that same path.