Monday, February 20, 2017

Hypocrisy

I didn't know where else to put this, so I'll just leave this thought here.  There was a recent caption, entitled "Chastity", which you can find HERE.  The reception for it was sort of lukewarm.  Some liked it.  Others didn't.  But that's not the point of this post.  The reason I'm writing this is there was a comment on the my Tumblr post of the same image, saying, "Don't like the domestic abuse that led to it, but this is hot."

I'm glad that the person liked the caption as a whole, but seriously - what?  This caption, if you haven't read it, depicts blackmail and abuse going the other way (which went on for quite a while).  But the person who commented had enough of a problem with the inciting incident that he simply had to say something.

Looking at this person's history, it quickly became apparent that he has a taste for rape fantasies, kidnapping, abuse, and humiliation.  None of those are uncommon, and I'm certainly not in any position to judge anyone based on his/her kinks.  But it struck me as extremely hypocritical for this person to draw the line at domestic abuse (directed toward a female).

But that's just the latest example of hypocrisy in this medium.  It shouldn't surprise me, because I encountered something very similar when I first started writing in this genre.  The first stories I published were in the Omar Bell Universe, so you can imagine that there were those who found them distasteful.  The problem I had was that these people (some of whom wrote kidnapping and forced feminization/sex stories - emphasis on the "forced part"), like the above comment-er, were absolutely fine with all manner of illegal, immoral, and downright nasty kinks - so long as they were THEIR kinks.  The second someone had a different fetish that veered into the same morally ambiguous territory, they got on their collective soapbox.

It makes so little sense to me, and I felt the need to post something about it.  I've railed against it before, and I know it does no good, but I can't help it.  Maybe I'm the weird one - it certainly wouldn't be the first time.

13 comments:

  1. I understand how frustrating it must be for you to get comments like that on your work, and how you must feel a need to respond, but for what it's worth, I think you have to try to not let it get to you. The internet is full of hypocrites who will try to make a federal case out of every little thing that catches their attention. Those types of people are at their weakest when they're not allowed the influence they gain from having your attention. Ignore them and they see that they have no influence on you, and quickly lose interest in bothering you. As you say, it's silly to make such a fuss about this stuff; it's all kinks. Clearly all of us here are into some odd stuff. So be it. No reason to make a big deal out of it unless you're one of those people who are just looking for a fight because you enjoy pushing people's buttons. Don't let 'em push your buttons.

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    1. That's the thing, though - I don't even think it was meant as a slight toward my work. I think it was just someone who thought he had to mention that, yes, he loved the blackmail and forced sexual servitude in the caption, the domestic violence was just TOO MUCH for him to handle.

      I do agree that the best way to deal with most of the negativity is to simply ignore it, and for the most part, I do. For some reason, this particular instance bugged the heck out of me, though. Whatever the case, I don't think it matters one way or the other. Certainly, nothing's going to change about human nature.

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  2. An odd complaint/comment; the victim is getting well-deserved revenge, the abuser his comeuppance. It would seem justice is done all around.

    Perhaps spousal abuse is just a weirdly specific pet peeve of the commentator, that bugged him?

    - B-Rex

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    1. I guess. I think what struck me as really weird was the fact that they just HAD to make sure that everyone knew that they were anti-domestic violence.

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  3. I learned a long time ago that you can't please everyone. Just do what you do. You do great work that I browse often. My best advise is to ignore the idiots and focus on those who support you.

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    1. Oh, I certainly agree that you can't please everyone, and I should just ignore it. But when I see such a blatantly hypocritical statement (as what I referenced in the original post), I sometimes can't help but vent. It's like when I watch the news, and see some of the commentators voicing ridiculous opinions, and I just stare at the television, open-mouthed in amazement, and wonder if I really just heard what I thought I did. Sometimes, I feel like I'm crazy for recognizing the bullshit for what it is.

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  4. The best course of action is to write a full caption full of kinks with everything that idiot hates hahaha.

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  5. I loved that caption, more than many in a long time.

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    1. That's the thing - the comment-er did as well! He just had to complain about the "domestic abuse".

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  6. For me I don't see it as moral, but I like to empathize with the feminized party, but I don't wanna see myself as a justified victim. I guess it just doesn't fit my kink.
    so I'm not a big fan of assholes being feminized.

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    1. That's perfectly reasonable. Everyone likes something different, right?

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  7. Nikki, there could be another explanation for his comment. We all have sore spots, things that bother us. Maybe he or someone he cares about has been a victim of domestic abuse and that is a sore spot for him. It is not so much a rejection of someone elses kink as it may be an inability to not speak out against it. As a writer, you often touch your readers more deeply than you may realize and in was you may not have intended. Our own lives affect the way we interpret the stories we read, giving a different reading to different readers. Maybe this is just what happened here and the commenter was more deeply affected than was your intent when writing the caption.
    Sorry for the super-long comment, but thought maybe you were missing a possible explanation that was not really meant to criticize your work. I for one love your blog even if I do not love every post!

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    1. Oh, I acknowledge the possibility. And I don't think the person was criticizing my work, per se. Honestly, I think it's another symptom of our population thinking that everything they consume should be tailored to their particular triggers and interests. It's narcissism on a societal scale. The simple reality is that, without context, nobody cares that reader A doesn't like domestic violence. Certainly, if they'd explained it as "I experienced something akin to this, and it was difficult for me to read about it," people would care. I would care. But without any sort of explanation, it's an aimless complaint - similar to the pointless protests that have afflicted this country in recent years. If you care about something enough to complain, protest, etc, at least offer an explanation of why you're doing so, and preferably, you should offer some sort of solution. Without those things, it's just whining.

      Or maybe I'm just a hard-hearted cynic with thin skin. Both are equally plausible.

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