I just wanted to start off by saying that I apologize for being a bit flaky lately. I haven't really kept up the same pasting schedule (missed a few days here and there), and I'm sorry for that. I've always prided myself on keeping to that schedule, and I fully intend to regain that form.
However, I've been dealing with a bit of difficulty lately (from a health perspective) which has made finances a little tough. As many of you know, I have leukemia (chronic), and I recently had to change medications, which does some horrible things to my system. The side effects suck, and make working my normal job difficult, which in turn makes me lose my sense of self-worth, and it starts to spiral. If I didn't have this site to focus on, I'd probably have gone crazy a while back.
Anyway, not being able to work (as much as I'd like), it really makes me tighten my belt. Bills go unpaid. Debt collectors start to call. And hard decisions about what's important have to be made. I guess that's a long way of saying that when I have health problems, I start to get depressed, most notably because of financial constraints. Sure, there's the obligatory "Why me?" self-pity there, but the depression stems from an inability to adequately support myself (in the short term). It sucks, is what I'm saying.
I do try to keep in mind that I'm lucky. I mean, even a decade ago, if I'd have been diagnosed then, I probably wouldn't have lived more than a year. So I'm glad that my brand of shitty genetic luck is treatable. I really am. But knowing that and feeling it are two very different things - especially when bill collectors are blowing up my phone.
The funny thing is that they all SEEM concerned. And maybe they are. But at the end of the day, they do have a job to do. So they'll say, "Oh, I'm so sorry you're dealing with that. And I hope you make a full recovery. But we're going to need some sort of payment or we're going to have repossess your car."
I'm kind of at the end of my financial rope here, and it pains me to say that. I honestly don't know what else to do, so I'm going to ask you all for help. If you're able, just click on the big red button in the top right-hand corner of this page, and donate via Paypal. Use my email address: firstname.lastname@example.org to send whatever you can. If that's too conspicuous, please use my other account instead: email@example.com
I don't really know how to end this, so I'll just post today's caption. I hope I don't offend anyone by asking for help. I don't do it lightly.